I have a newsflash for you Martha.
You *ARE* racist, and so am I.
Take the Project Implicit - race IAT and you will be extremely enlightened, I promise you.
Spoiler alert: even black people are conditioned by society (which did not begin on the day you were born) to have a preference toward white/European faces. It's part of growing up living in the French Connection [movie] era when we weren't all so damn "politically correct".
Wah, I feel so bad for you, having to pay all those "dues", like not being allowed to use nasty words or start a club to help you get an education or feel some sort of solidarity.
Grow a pair, and speak your mind if it's so damn important to you to get it off your chest.
Stop playing the victim with every single topic that pops into your head. It's a turnoff, and it's statistically, logically, and demonstrably wrong. (Trying to start a fight... give me a ****ing break dude. Yes, "the blacks" want to start a club called the NAACP or the UNCF and come to your house and DARE you to do the same.)
You are more free than you think... or are you actually enslaved by your subconscious, quite literally out of control of your own mind and emotions?
Implicit Association Test.
Anyone else reading this post who has read Malcolm Gladwell will remember the reference, and probably already took the test.
Here it is:
https://implicit.harvard.edu/implici...lectatest.html
Good luck, and I strongly recommend emotional therapy with a focus on anger and control management.